Disturb us Lord - Ancient prayer

Disturb us Lord,
When we are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us Lord,
When with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us Lord,
To dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas,
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

Prayer of Francis Drake, 1577

More far reaching than torment...

So I just finished reading the story about "Legion"
(Mark 5:1-19 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%205:1-19&version=NLT)
- a story about a man so tormented, that among the many who may have tried, only Jesus was able and willing to deal with the man's demons that had destroyed so much within and around him.
It seems that the people around this man were more concerned with restraining him than restoring him as all their methods consisted of chaining and shackling him down...but still these efforts failed. For in short, the people came to the realization that they could not CONTROL him and this realization brought about fear.
While it doesn't say in the story, I can't help but wonder if the people actually sent him away to live among the tombs OR if maybe the man was so far driven by his shame that he decided to make his home among the dead - in a place where his destructive ways could be solely directed at himself.
But then, here comes Jesus, the God man whose devotion consisted of pure divine determination to rescue this man AND restore him to the person who even he himself no longer had the vision to see.
To draw this into a modern application I first thought about my recent experiences at the nursing home where I feel that I have seen many faces of torment. Some of them are rarely taken out of their room - left alone to voice their cries. And even still with all the wailing that actually reaches our ears I can't help but wonder how many cries remain within the region that lies between their own ears (the mind).
Yet while this passage comforts me when I think of times where the torment and restlessness within me seems too great to bear - I find an example in Jesus of one who is able and willing to come beside and demonstrate the almighty power of God's mercy that comes beside me to destroy a work of hell that has been operating in my life.
I still at the same time go back to the faces that I see and the voices I here that exemplify a torment that I easily conclude that we must occlude it from our reach simply because of our powerlessness to control it. Maybe what is really needed is an enlarged vision to see the person as they were before- as a restful child or as a beloved parent - either way, restoring them to a place where are no longer outside the reach of love. For ultimately this story shows me that LOVE is able to reach beyond that which we are able to control.

Much said, with few woods.

I love Henri Nouwen. I have been getting little meditations of his in my email the past few weeks. This one today gave me much to think about. Here it is...

Jesus' Compassion
Jesus is called Emmanuel which means "God-with-us" (see Matthew 1: 22-23). The great paradox of Jesus' life is that he, whose words and actions are in no way influenced by human blame or praise but are completely dependent on God's will, is more "with" us than any other human being.
Jesus' compassion, his deep feeling-with us, is possible because his life is guided not by human respect but only by the love of his heavenly Father. Indeed, Jesus is free to love us because he is not dependent on our love.

Growing Young - Rich Mullins

I've gone so far from my home
I've seen the world and I have known
So many secrets
I wish now I did not know
'Cause they have crept into my heart
They have left it cold and dark
And bleeding,
Bleeding and falling apart

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more, we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms
And be growing young
Growing young

I've seen silver turn to dross
Seen the very best there ever was
And I'll tell you, it ain't worth what it costs
And I remember my father's house
What I wouldn't give right now
Just to see him and hear him tell me that he loves me so much

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more, we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms

And when I thought that I was all alone
It was your voice I heard calling me back home
And I wonder now Lord
What it was that made me wait so long
And what kept You waiting for me all that time
Was Your love stronger than my foolish pride
Will You take me back now, take me back and let me be Your child

'Cause I've been broken now, I've been saved
I've learned to cry, and I've learned how to pray
And I'm learning ...

Grief and Gratitude.

Today is the day of my transition ceremony.

I can't help finding myself in the tension of two polar emotions.

On one side, I feel extreme gratitude for these past few years. Johnson City itself, has been like my own personal "promised land" filled with plenty of "milk and honey" (as well as many other great foods...lol). I can't even begin to recount all the blessings and all the great memories I've had in this stage of my life. God has truly filled my life with great people and helped make Johnson City feel like a home with plenty of love to go around.

At the same time I have grief. Grief knowing that there will be people that I won't see anymore. I only anticipate keeping in touch with a few members of my class (just in the nature of life typically works), and there is always that feeling like what did I leave undiscovered due to my own busyness or self-preoccupation. I think this quote sums up some of my thoughts (even though it has to do with funerals...and I don't think this ceremony is on that level of somberness by any means. lol.)

"I think we cry at funerals-even at funerals of people we don't like-because we realize what a miracle a life is. You realize, this will never happen again. There will never be this exact combination of genes, there will never again be the things that have created this person to be what he is. God has spoken uniquely here, and it's gone. It's over. And I think there's some regret, because. we all realize, boy, we didn't pay enough attention." - Rich Mullins

So here I am filled with both celebration for the great things that God has helped me discover in others here in Johnson City and regret for the people that I didn't pay enough attention to . I suppose my hope is that He will continually help increase my awareness and attentiveness to behold the beauty in those ahead of me that my path will soon intersect.

On a lighter note, I really hope I don't find myself in another "lifetime" moment tonight with my OT class. If it happens, so be it. They're worth it, one of my many families that I've learn to share this wonderful thing called life these past few years.

Consider the Cost by Steve Camp

Consider the Cost by Steve Camp

to obey is better than sacrifice
and to hearken than the fat of rams
for what will a man give for his own life
houses or money or land
there's a way that seems right to you
but in the end it leads only to death
but come unto Him all ye weary
come and find your rest

consider the cost of building a tower
it's a narrow way that you must come
to do the will of the Father
is to follow the Son
to love Him more than father or mother
to love Him more than your own flesh
to give all that you are, for all that He is
this is the gospel according to Jesus

many will say, "Lord, Lord" on that day
look what we've done in Your name
"We've prophesied and performed many miracles
and Lord, even demons obeyed"

then the Lord will declare unto them
the most terriifying words of truth"
depart from me ye workers of iniquity
for I have never known you!"

oh foolish man, how you built on the sand
trusting in your goodness to save!
for when the rain falls, and the flood
breaks the walls
you will be swept away!

but blessed is he who builds on the Rock
who takes Jesus as Lord to save!
for when the rain falls, he will endure it all
standing firm in His grace!

Question Is? - Old poem

Question Is?
So many look at our unanswered questions, unconquered problems,
the dismay and darkness all around.
Why must we forget what we know, what we hope, and what we have.

For when did we lose our joy believing in better days?
Or when did we allow our better practices to rot and decay?

Our trust cannot rest in our princes
Or any other power of the hour.

We must go backwards if we want to ever go forwards.

Look at the ones who understood our Creator; their lives were an offering that gave honor to Him, and left us with immeasurable gifts of answers, solutions, directions, light and everlasting love.

Christ, my Lord has Himself already proven.
He has already shown that all hatred, destruction, disease and corruption
will NEVER be enough to keep a good man down.

So when shall this truth be enough?
Or is this all too much to raise?